Halfway done!!!!!! In some ways, the past 6 months have seemed like they flew by and in other ways, they seem like they've dragged on forever. I thought it would be appropriate to write a very candid and honest blog entry about this experience now that I am halfway through. I never talk much about how this process affects my daily life except with those of you that are pretty close with me, so I thought I would do that now. I am going to save a substantial portion of my story for the end when I compile it all together and write a comprehensive story about my entire experience, but for now, here's a bit about my experience thus far broken into specific categories. The first category: The Thank You's.
THANK YOU
Trying to come up with doing something new that I've never done before every single day for a year and keeping it interesting has proven to be extremely challenging at some points. I do a lot of "firsts" on a regular basis, but I TRY to make the ones I post to be at least somewhat interesting. I absolutely cannot say thank you enough to everyone who has supported me during this process. It's really been amazing. There is no way I could do a lot of this without the support and help of others, not only emotionally supporting me but also physically being there or providing me with ideas or the tools to complete these firsts. I've had complete strangers come up to me and tell me to keep doing what I'm doing or that they love what I'm doing and that's surprising and rewarding when that happens. I've had some of the most emotional Facebook messages from the most unexpected people, telling me what this means to them and to keep doing it. The support has really been amazing and I just truly want to say thank you to everyone again for all of your support and good vibes, especially my family and close friends who have provided me with so much through this. Your support and encouragement mean more than you'll ever know, especially during the rough patches. Speaking of rough patches, let's talk about the negative aspects of 365 Firsts before getting into the much more enriching and important positive aspects of it.
THE NEGATIVES
I said I was going to be honest... sometimes I HATE that I am doing this. I want to preface this by saying that I am not complaining in the slightest, I'm simply talking about the negative social aspect of it. I can't tell you the number of times I've been asked, "what's your first going to be today?", and my response is. "I don't know". People think I'm crazy that I don't have everything planned out, but let me be the first to tell you that it doesn't matter how much you plan, things won't always work out just because they are planned. I'll be planning on doing a first all day and then 10pm comes and something happens that doesn't allow me to do what I had planned anymore. Some days I just want to wake up, go to work, exercise, hang out, chill out and watch TV... whatever. And there are days when I do smaller firsts that I can do that. BUT, even when I'm doing a smaller first, I still have to think about what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it. I still have to go buy supplies and do it. I have to think about what I'm going to do the next day. Some days, I'll be busy the entire day and literally have an hour left to pull something together to do before midnight hits.
The worst part of this is the mental toll. It's very mentally taxing. I've been thinking about this since January. The daily process of challenging yourself and simply coming up with something new to do that is at least somewhat interesting has proven to sometimes be a little overwhelming when life gets in the way. Some people criticize me on the days I do smaller firsts. Some people get mad that I wasn't able to include them in something because our schedules didn't match up. Some people think I'm crazy or that I'm an idiot for not having everything planned out exactly. When that happens, I can't help but laugh and think, "when's the last time you did this?" I call those people haters and quickly shake them off. Thanks for the advice, Taylor Swift.
Like I said, I'm not complaining because I don't have to be doing this. This isn't some burden that's been thrust upon me and I could wake up tomorrow and quit at anytime, but I'm not going to. This is a big social experiment and I'm simply talking about the negative sides of it, which leads me into my next topic, what I like to call: "The Low 100's".
THE LOW 100's
Right around day 100, from about day 90 through about day 130, was a pretty rough patch in this process. I call it the low 100's because it was in the early 100's of 365 Firsts, there was a massive heat wave in Saint Louis right at that time and every day was over 100 degrees for a while, and also, because I felt pretty damn crappy during this time. Time to be candid I suppose. I won't get too much into it, but I've struggled in my past pretty intensely with not always mentally feeling the greatest. Pretty much only the people closest to me know that and I still don't talk to them much about it at all. Anyway, it comes and goes still sometimes and I happened to go through a random and really rough bout of feeling this way during this time. The worst bout in about 6 years. Along with that, 365 Firsts had started to become very mentally taxing on me at this point.
I had a lot of life changes happening at this time as well, and to put the cherry on top, a certain person entered my life like a freaking tornado and flipped it completely upside down. Some of the craziest things I've ever experienced mentally and emotionally all happened during this time. It was like a perfect storm and my brain felt like it had been thrown into a blender and it made 365 Firsts seem like a burden that I couldn't get rid of. I really wanted to quit. I knew I wouldn't, but the last thing on Earth I cared about at that time was 365 Firsts. Just trying to mentally pull myself together to get through the day was hard enough. Coming up with new firsts and finding the will power to make myself do them was extremely tough. I really started to hate 365 Firsts at this time. All I wanted to do was fix myself mentally and get back to myself and this only got in the way.
Eventually, I snapped out of it. I got back to being myself. I started to care more and more about 365 Firsts like I previously did. I took care of the "tornado damage", looked back at that whole thing and laughed and then moved on. If this process has taught me one thing, it's patience. I've always had a lot of patience, but this isn't a sit around and wait type of patience. This patience is dealing with a constant mental change. Sometimes it wears me down completely and other times I'm dancing around my room with my headphones in writing all kinds of new ideas down as they come to me. It's definitely changed me like I expected and it's been a change for the better, which leads into talking about the positives of this process.
THE POSITIVES
Ok, enough with the negative. I don't like negative. It eats away at you. The positives of 365 Firsts FAR outweigh the negatives. I have done things I never thought I would do as long as I lived. I've done things I've never even previously heard of. I've met some of the most interesting people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I've overcome my intense fear of spiders by holding a tarantula. I beat my fear of heights by skydiving. I even got a pedicure! Coming from someone who can't stand to be barefoot or even walk around without shoes or house slippers on at all times, that was a big deal (I'm weird about that, get over it). I've grown from this process in so many ways and I'm only halfway done. Even on the smaller days when I barely have any time or plans fell through or whatever, I still almost always grow or learn from those days, even the bad ones.
I wanted to make sure that at least about one-third of 365 Firsts was dedicated to helping other people or doing random acts of kindness in hopes of inspiring others to do the same. Those days are the days that keep me going when I want to quit. Nothing gives me a more satisfying feeling than those days and it keeps me grounded instead of always focusing on what I'm going to do next. Only a slight part of this is about me. Yes, I want to experience all of these things and learn and grow from it, but I really deep down want others to see it and realize that they can really see life through a different lens by stepping out of their comfort zone and trying new things. Also, being kind to others without any ulterior motive is invaluable. So far, I have gotten a ton of people privately messaging me on Facebook or Instagram telling me that they saw me do this or that and it inspired them to try something new, etc. That really means so much to me and again I want to say thank you and I'm glad you've listened to the message of this whole thing and went out and did something. It can truly be life changing.
Life-changing is a great phrase to use. This process really has been life-changing and I'm only halfway through. A few of the craziest experiences of my life happened through it. I jumped out of a freaking plane that was 2 miles in the air. I NEVER would've done that if I didn't just force myself to do it and now that I have, I feel completely empowered and I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life. I can name several moments like that. When I take a minute to sit back and process everything, I really have grown stronger in so many ways. I may be weakened sometimes by the mental grind of it all, but overall, I have grown so much.
So far, if I have one regret about 365 Firsts, it's that it isn't "bigger" than it is. If it was bigger, more people would see it and more people might be inspired to do more kind things for others or to step out of their comfort zones and try new things. That is the entire reason I am doing this in the first place. Maybe one day it will find a bigger audience, but for now, thank you all very much to everyone that is following along and supporting me. It means everything to me.
MY FAVORITES
In no particular order and excluding the random acts of kindess, my top 10 favorite days so far have been:
-The Breaking Bad Tour in New Mexico (Day 68)
-Sensory Deprivation Tank in Nashville (Day 171)
-Becoming an Uncle (Day 154)
-Skydiving (Day 84)
-A Tribute for Austin and Sarah (Day 79)
-Hang gliding in Chattanooga (Day 170)
-Swimming with Dolphins (Day 33)
-Knoxville SEC Gameday Experience (Day 168)
-Cardinals Care 6K (Day 120)
-Crash a Wedding (Day 63)
THE WORST ONES
-Put Together a 1,000 Piece Puzzle in One Day (Day 11)
-Pedicure (Day21)
-50 Selfies with 50 Strangers (Day 50)
-Hold a Tarantula (Day 55) ----This was horrible at first but good in the long run
-Massive Straw Bridge (Day 64)
-5 Gum Truth or Dare (Day 114)
-Shave my Legs (Day 119)
-Fried Lamb Testicles (Day 70)
-Firebrand Chili Challenge - The Chili Parlor (Day 156)
-Rubber band Ball (Day 89)
The final thing I have to say is... don't wait around until it's too late. Don't. You'll never know what you could've had until it's gone. Don't let it go away in the first place. If you want something, go after it. Live life for yourself, but not only for yourself. Be a good person. Have fun, make mistakes, don't take life too seriously and know your worth. Don't think you're better than anybody else because you're not. Don't judge or try your hardest to do it as little as you can because you have no idea what other people are going through. Don't be afraid to take a chance on anything, no matter how ridiculous it may initially seem. Your life could change in an instant and that instant can happen at anytime. Don't wait around. Don't let someone hold you back. Tackle life with ferocity and love and you'll grow to be a wise and fulfilled person at the end of your life instead of filled with regret. Do this for yourself.
Once again, I just want to say thank you so much to everyone who has supported me through this and everyone who helps me along the way. It really wouldn't be possible without support. This has been a really interesting journey so far. I'm sure I will have at least one or two more mental breakdowns before it's over, but I expect that. In the end, I can't wait to see the year that I will have had when it's all said and done. Thanks again!
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Friday, November 7, 2014
Day 181: Make a Latte
Learned from the best. Moka Pot, milk pot, milk frother, the whole deal. It's actually really easy, I've just never done it. I'm an hour and a half away from being halfway through 365 Firsts!
Day 180: Paint for a Cause
As some of you know, in a past life I used to make soap. Long story. Anyway, the place I sell it at, Studio on 6th, wanted some homemade Christmas ornaments. So, I've painted some and will donate whatever profits I make towards a local Springfield charity.
Day 179: Write a Yelp! Review
When I went through Knoxville last week, I had the pleasure of using Tailgate Tennessee as part of my first major college football game experience and it was amazing. The company is fantastic and the owner is a stand up guy. You can check out my first Yelp! review right here, featuring Tailgate Tennessee: http://m.yelp.com/biz_photos/tailgate-tennessee-knoxville?pt=biz_photo&ref=fb&select=GPikgoqG63rny0j-Kuzwyw
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Day 178: Buy Movie Tickets for an Unsuspecting Couple
I went into a movie theatre and bought a gift card that equaled the amount of two movie tickets and told the cashier to give them to the next young couple that comes in that looks like they're in love. I like this one.
Day 177: Learn to Tie 10 Different Knots
So I've discovered that for some odd reason I really enjoy tying knots. It's weird. Some people like putting together Lego models, I like tying knots a lot apparently. I want to learn to tie more complicated knots later on sometime when I'm bored. It's strangely relaxing and fun to me. So, starting in the first square in the first column and working your way down to the bottom and then back up to the top of the next column, here are the knots names:
1) Square knot
2) Sheet Bend knot
3) Slip knot
4) Noose
5) Bowline knot
6) Sinnet knot
7) Figure 8 Follow Through knot
8) Zeppelin Bend knot
9) Alpine Butterfly Loop
10) Heaving Line Knot
Day 175: Donate Fruit Trees to Families in Need
Donating fruit trees provides a family with a replenishing supply of food. I did it through samaritanspurse.com. It's a good site for things like this so check it out if you're feeling generous.
Day 174: Happy Halloween! First Time Dressing as Jim from The Office
I went as Jim from The Office whenever he doesn't dress up for Halloween. DEEP. One year he went as "3 hole punch Jim" and one year he went as "Dave", with just a name tag that says "Dave". Had to do it because it's one of my favorite shows ever. Pretty easy first but it's Halloween so whateves. Everyone have fun tonight and be safe!
Day 173: Pancake Pantry - A Nashville Institution
Apparently you have to eat at the Pancake Pantry when you swing through Nashville and I'm glad I did. Pretty great. It was voted a top 10 in the U.S. I need all of the vegetables in the world inside my body after this trip. ALL OF THEM.
Day 172: First Dip-Hop Concert - Adam James Vs. Ft. Worth Ferguson
I might be biased because I've known this guy since he was a kid and he's one of my absolute best friends, but this concert was the most entertaining concert I've ever been too. He came out playing his own stuff as Adam James and killed it, then Ft. Worth Ferguson (his alter-ego) came out and killed it with some serious Dip-Hop music. Dip-Hop is parody music about modern country and it's HILARIOUS. Top 3 most talented people I've ever met or known and he's doing amazing here in Nashville and everyone should check him out. You'll be glad you did when he's a megastar one day.
Day 171: Sensory Deprivation Tank
This was a crazy experience. I'll admit I was pretty nervous about this going in. When I first got in and shut the door, I was surprised at how easily my body just floated because of the massive amounts of salt that is in the water. It made me float before I was really ready and my head dipped back in the water and it was a very strange feeling. I could tell I was breathing heavy and my heart was beating faster than normal because there is nothing else to distract you from that. Completely silent. Completely pitch black. And you experience weightlessness. After fidgeting around a lot and calming down, I had a really bizarre yet extremely calm feeling. Just floating there. Completely random memories from my childhood ran through my head several times. People ran through my head. My whole life ran through my head like a fast-forwarded movie. Extremely vividly too. I didn't hallucinate like some people claim, but I could see that happening. I figured some stuff out that's been bouncing around in my head for awhile. I lost all sense of time while I was in there and really had a chance to reset and clear my head and that's why this was definitely one of my favorite firsts so far. Maybe this is a little hippyish of me to say, but honestly the thought that life is a funny thing just kept running through my head. It is. It's so serious and so odd and so funny and hurtful and joyful all at the same time and just living your life in the moment you're in now is all you can do. Don't worry about anything else because that's all you've got. Anything else is a waste and you don't won't to waste your life, you want to live it. I don't have much of anything in my life figured out right now and I realized that's ok because it'll all fall into place when it needs to. After resetting my brain and realizing all of that in this tank, I feel like I have more of "me" back now and that's pretty invaluable. Anyway, hippy-rant over. Everyone is different but it had a pretty big impact on me. Try this out!!!
Day 170: Hang Gliding
Took off from Lookout Mountain in Georgia and flew at 3,000 feet for almost 20 minutes! It was exciting and relaxing at the same time. Glad I finally did it.
Day 169: First Division 1 Volleyball Game, Tennessee Vs. Ole Miss
The Vols pulled an upset and beat a really good Ole Miss team! It's been a sports, food, drinks, friend-filled weekend. I've come across some of the nicest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and experienced a lot of really cool things here in Knoxville. I've realized even more that I really love it here in Tennessee. Now that I'm not moving here anymore, I'll definitely be coming back to visit as often as I can.
Day 168: Firsts SEC Gameday Experience - Tennessee Vs. Alabama
Super excited to be at my first SEC college football game! I've never seen so much orange in my life. Hearing 100,000 people sing Rocky Top is pretty awesome. The whole experience of the day has been pretty great. Go UT!
Day 167: Big Orange Madness
Starting off the week in Tennessee in Knoxville (for the first time) at the Thompson-Boling Arena where the Tennessee Volunteers play. Big Orange Madness is a kick-off to the upcoming season where the men's and women's basketball teams scrimmage. The fans come out and it's a good time. Good way to start things off!
Day 166: Wine Bar
I've been wanting to go to a wine bar and this specific one forever! Robust Wine Bar in Edwardsville. This place is great.
Day 165: Leave Engaging Notes in Books at a Bookstore
165 notes in total. Some are endearing. Some ask for the reader to do something good for other people. Some are just meant for a laugh. As of today I have 200 days left in 365 Firsts and this is one I've been saving for awhile. It felt pretty good to walk into Books•A•Million and leave these notes in random books. Someone could read them an hour from now or a year from now and that's what makes it so cool. Hopefully it'll make a tiny difference in someone's day along the way.
Day 164: Take Melatonin
You can't take the insomniac out of me, but maybe I can I can deaden it a little bit with some melatonin. I've been suggested to take it a million times so we'll see if it works. You never know until you try I guess.
Day 163: Rock'em Sock'em Robots
Not in this house, Kendall! Wait, you live here. This is gonna be a problem. This game is awesome.
Day 161: Trim a Tree
I've been a handyman that last few days. Maybe I'll build a gazebo next or something.
Day 160: Patch a Leaky Tire
Took the tire off of my parents lawn mower, looked for the leak, found it, repaired it. Turns out it can't be fully repaired however since the leak is on the sidewall, so it'll have to be replaced after all. But I went through the process!
Day 159: First Dopplebock Beer
I've never had this style of beer before for being a (new and sort) of beer connoisseur. Pretty great! This particular one, Weihenstephaner Korbinian, smells like toffee and caramel and tastes like bread and brown sugar. 👌
Day 158: Watch Psycho
I can't believe that I've never seen Psycho when I've seen so many other films and so many useless, crappy ones at that. Figured close to Halloween was a good time for it. It was fantastic and I can definitely see why it's a classic and why Alfred Hitchcock is one of the greatest directors of all time. Even though it was made over 50 years ago, it's so much better than the horrible "scary" movies that are shoveled year after year that are just different versions of the same stupid and over-played themes. Oh look, someone is possessed! Again! And there's a creepy little girl! Again! I hope someone doesn't pop up behind that woman while she's looking in the mirr.... ohhhh too late!
Day 157: Rody Race
I'm the defeated unicorn that fell right at the start of the race. Luckily the rooster was concerned and checked on me. You may have won the Rody Race, rooster, but we all know that unicorns beat roosters in every other aspect of life.
Day 156: Firebrand Chili Challenge - The Chili Parlor
This is me after eating a bowl of the extremely spicy Firebrand Chili at the famous Chili Parlor in Springfield, IL, which was featured on Man Vs. Food. I get to have my name put on the wall for finishing the bowl! Along with indigestion and losing half of my tastebuds. Man that stuff is spicy. I was shaking, sweating and had tears in my eyes the whole time, but it was worth it.
Day 155: Use a Nasal Aspirator (snotsucker)
Chloe is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed... and snot-free now.
Day 154: Become an Uncle
Chloe Elizabeth Cox was born at 1:21am this morning and my life is different now in the best possible way because of it. I'm so proud and happy for my brother, Brian, and sister-in-law, Britney, who will be absolutely amazing parents. Chloe has only been my niece for a few hours and she already means everything to me. I can't wait to get started on being Uncle Travis.
Day 153: Use a Pregnancy Wheel
I don't really have a lot of options since I've been in the hospital all day lol It was either this or use Purell 600,000 times in one day... which I also did today. Hopefully tomorrow's first will be to become an uncle!
Day 152: Sauna Suit Workout
I did a P90X3 workout with a sauna suit on, which if you don't know, is supposed to make you sweat extra and lose additional weight quickly if that's what you're looking to do. It's all water weight, but boxers use this routinely to get down to their weight last minute before a fight. I did sweat, that's for sure, but not a ton more than I normally would doing a P90X3 cardio workout. I think maybe because it's freezing in the basement here. Either way, first time in a sauna suit!
Day 151: Buy Baby Chicks for a Hungry Family
It's just $15 and it provides a hungry family in an impoverished country with baby chicks that will eventually grow into full hens that can produce up to 200 eggs a year. They are a constant source of food and nutrition. It's a gift that keeps on giving... eggs.
Day 150: Smoke a Cigar
Celebrating making it 150 days and the Cardinals advancing to the NLCS with my first cigar! It's a Cuban I bought in Key West early on in the summer. It's nice to just sit back and relax. 206 days left!
Day 149: Fruit Ninja
So my roommate, Kendall goes, "wait... what did you do for your first today?!" I say, "ohhhhhhhh crap" I COMPLETELY forgot. Working, having my mind on other things, applying for jobs, watching the Cardinals in the playoffs, trying to figure out my life, I forgot about my first. I'll admit it's not the first time it's happened, but not with less than an hour to go. So, sometimes things like playing Fruit Ninja is my first. It's funny because even funny or small things like this make me realize how much of a metaphor this whole thing is for life in general because sometimes, certain things just take a back seat to others. Some days, 365 Firsts is the most important thing in my life that I'm doing, sometimes it's the least important. Lately, it's been taking a little bit of a backseat while I'm trying to get my life figured out, but hopefully in a few weeks I took some time off and I can do some cool things every day for a few weeks.
Day 148: Make Apple Cider from Scratch
I juiced a bag of apples and threw some orange juice, nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon and butter in there and now it cooks for an hour. It tastes great already so after it all cooks together for an hour it should be pretty awesome. All that's left after that is to jar it and all of that good stuff. Woo fall stuff!
Day 147: Teach Someone How to Open a Coconut
I'm well-versed in coconut opening. I'm glad I could use what I thought was a completely useless skill to help a friend show her class how to open a coconut. I'm putting this on my résumé.
Day 146: Tablecloth Trick
So I tried the old tablecloth trick where you are supposed to pull a tablecloth out from under a set table. It worked for a bowl of apples and a glass of water. It didn't work so well when I added a glass of milk and beer.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Day 143: Plant Radishes
Look, I already know planting radishes is pretty baller. I don't need everyone blowin up my stuff about how badass it makes me. I get it.
Day 142: First Solar Powered and Water Reclaim Carwash
Eclipse Carwash in Edwardsville runs off of solar power and a system that reclaims and cleans the water it uses. It's very Eco-friendly and state of the art. I actually had a part in trying to name this car wash a few years ago to before it was built. I can't believe I haven't been through it yet. Then again, I hardly ever wash my poor car.
Day 145: Build a Modern Rustic Art Piece
I'm clearing out some of the more immature decor in my apartment for more adult stuff. I must be turning into an adult or something. When did that happen? I bought the different parts and put it together to make this. Kind of modern with nature. I like stuff like that.
Day 144: Beer School
Global Brew in Edwardsville is holding Beer School! Urban Chestnut, a local Saint Louis brewery is here to teach us about their beer and just the entire process of how it's made and the different types and everything. A nice sampling of good beers with a good friend and some learning in the process. Good times.
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